Posts

Can we be refugees in our own land?

Image
Can we be refugees in our own land? This question has echoed in my mind for over twenty-five years. The answer isn’t simple yes or no; it’s something deeper, something lived rather than defined. Ever since I was a child, UNRWA (United Nation Relief and Work Agency) centers filled our neighborhoods in Gaza: education, health, even food assistance. But before you could access any of these services, you had to answer one question: Are you citizen or a refugee? I didn’t understand the question, or the difference. I heard my parents say “refugee”, so I repeated it, not knowing what it meant. At school, they asked me, “Where is your village?” I answered “Al-Sawafir Al-Shamaliyya” (Northern Sawafir), because that’s what I was taught. But I lived in Gaza, I felt I belonged there, so how could I be a refugee? At twenty-six, I understood: we were displaced. From city to city, from house to tent, from privacy to shared survival. We were displaced within our own homeland, living every detail...

Death: between Love and Myths

Image
  When COVID-19 came into our home, it came with me. I was coming back from work, carrying a heavy truth on my chest, so heavy, I could barely breathe. I had always told them to be careful, stay safe, because I didn’t want to get infected and have to take time off work. I loved my job so much. But I was selfish. That selfishness turned on me. I brought it home. I met my dad downstairs. We went up to the home together. I kept looking into his eyes, my throat tight, my heart screaming while my mouth stayed shut. I told him. He looked at me with that same soft gaze he always gave me, the one that said, “It’s okay.” He also said it with his voice. We told the rest of the family. He and my sisters decided to go to the hospital. He never came back. In the second week, I visited him. He was in the ICU, surrounded by machines, but his eyes were searching for me. His gaze was broken. He asked me to look after my sister, who was in her final year of school, and he was more worried about her ...